"Last Thursday, fresh from your energising class I collected Matthew from school and returned home to have a creative one-to-one session, just the two of us, to paint an enormous piece of cardboard which was part of the new ‘den’ being constructed in his bedroom 

His chosen theme was blue and abstract. I went into the attic, and got down 7/8 tins of old  paint of varying shades of blue and laid them out on the dining table, alongside the decorating sheets and brushes. I was making a real effort to be ‘up beat’ as I was suffering from a spasm in my back, and was determined that our special time would not be ruined.

However, I needed to go and lay on my bed as my back was becoming very painful and I needed to rest for 20 minutes. ‘Wait until I come down before you start’ was my parting comment as I hobbled upstairs and left Matthew quietly watching The Simpsons.

Being true to my promise I came downstairs after 20 minutes (pain none the better) to be met by a scene that made me weep. Matthew stood in the middle of the room, brush in hand, doing ‘splash painting’ (He’d seen it on Art Attack on TV). Still in his uniform and covered in paint, he looked expectantly at my face, so proud of his masterpiece. All I could see was the dark blue paint splashed on my white armchairs, cushions, curtains, floor. Lids had been prized off with good cutlery, now bent and covered in oil based paint. He had attempted to wash some brushes, leaving the dishes in the sink before doing so, thus covering the day’s dishes in paint also. He had used 3 or 4 mugs (of questionable taste anyway) to mix the paints and tea towels to try to wipe the paint from his grey school shorts (now in the bin).

I cannot pretend that I wasn’t angry, or indeed that I let him know I was. I shouted "Just look at the mess! My curtains! My chairs – they’re ruined’  followed by a flood of tears, probably exasperated by my back pain.

Matthew's face dropped ‘ I’m sorry, I’m sorry’ he whimpered and out-cried me very easily, when he realised what he’d done. He was so enjoying himself that he hadn’t even noticed the mess.

Instead of sending him to his room with wild threats, I decided he needed to be involved in making amends.  I said we needed to get the chair covers into the washing machine quickly and he helped to unzip them, put them in the machine and put the detergent in and turn it on. I praised him for doing this 'Those covers are hard to get off but you have persevered and are working quickly to get them into the washing machine’ ‘ Spraying them with Vanish beforehand is a great idea Matthew, it will help the stains to come off’. Before long he had the rubber gloves on, emptying the dishes from the sink and loading them into the dishwasher, scrubbing the paint off as he went. I decided that the mugs were horrible anyway, and his shorts were in fact a bit too small, so I quietly put these in the bin and didn’t lay any more guilt onto him than was already there.

He said to me ‘ Mummy, am I the most annoying boy in the world?’ I said ‘ If I am honest I may have thought that for one tiny second when I walked into the room, but I truly believe that you are certainly one of the most creative, adventurous, spontaneous boys in the world and one of the most helpful. The way you cleaned up the mess, without a fuss, showed me you were sorry and you have also learnt how to strip the furniture, use the washing machine, and do the dishes too’.

His cardboard creation adorns his bedroom and he is very proud of it. His feelings of failure were rescued. I am very proud of myself for keeping in control. I thank The Parent Practice for the gift of their skills every day. I have bought nice mugs and tea towels, and I will never lie on my bed for 20 minutes whilst The Simpsons is on"

Ellen McDale, mother of a boy and a girl.

"My tough little six year old son came home acting very aggressively last night.  He is the type of child who barely ever tells you how he feels and I was struggling to find out what was bothering him.  Recently I have been making sure I spend 10 minutes alone with him before bedtime (as my class teacher had recommended). We have discovered he loves to have his feet massaged so I do that for him.  Last night instead of probing him I simply said "It seems to me that school wasn't so good for you today".  The fact I hadn't asked a direct question and that we had physical contact contributed to what he said next. "Yes", he said "No one would play with me at playtime.  I even went to sit on the new friendship bench and nobody came to pick me up"  His eyes welled up as he told me.  I praised him profusely for telling me his feelings and empathised about how lonely it can feel sometimes at school.  Then he brightened right up and told me that tomorrow he was going to take his Dr Who cards to school and play swapping with the other boys.  It showed me that how so often when we really listen and empathise with our children that they tell us how they feel and come up with their own solutions."

Elizabeth Marris, mother of four.

I wanted to write to thank you for the one-to-one sessions we have been having over the last few weeks.  I had put off coming for many months thinking that I 'should' know how to handle my children and feeling a certain sense of failure that I needed help.  From the moment I walked in the door and started to talk I felt a huge sense of relief.  Camilla gave me so much confidence by praising the fact I have good routines with the children and that they do go to bed with no fuss.  She helped me see that by feeling better about myself as a parent I felt more able to be positive with the children without getting cross and shouting at them.  I felt so much better even after the first session. I had the nicest week I've ever had with them.  I began to appreciate the small moments and slow down my pace.  One day my two and a half year old came up with me when I had my morning shower and instead of rushing about I sat on the bed and cuddled him and played a tickling game.  It sounds like something so obvious to do with a small child but before these sessions I just didn't have the confidence in myself to slow down and take the pressure of myself to be perfect.  My four year old daughter even said she feels so much happier now that mummy is happier.  I can honestly say that for the first time since becoming a mother I have stopped comparing myself unfavourably with other 'super mum's' and even though I still shout at times and have stressful moments, they are so much fewer and we come out of them so much quicker.

Jasmine Ben'Hamid, mother of two.